Here is what it is. I was there for you. I was there for you, even after you tried to chase me away. When you let me stay, I devoted myself to taking care of you over and over again. I dedicated my life to taking care of you all that time over and over again. I knew you were not good for me, but I naively thought that if I was nothing but good to you, someday you’d value me for what I’ve done. But no, you break me down over and over again, and still, I was there. There was a point when I asked myself whether staying or running away was the strong thing to do, but it quickly became clear that I stayed because I was afraid to run away. You kept breaking me down and consuming my life. Then you told me that I meant nothing and made me realized that I’ve done it all for nothing. That’s where it really hurt. But that’s not it. You tried to take it back and make me question it more and kept dragging me along. I really thought that there was something real at some point, but it turned out that there was really nothing. You never cared, and I was never anything to you. I’m still broken apart and I’m still trying to regain my life back. You think it’d be fine to just be friends and use me while not valuing me, but no. This is why I said good-bye. This time I choose to take care of myself.
But it hurts so fucking bad because it wasn’t all bad.
It wasn’t all bad.
If I think of all the good things right now, I’d just break down and cry.